In what could only be described as a cinematic entrance, former President Donald Trump made a triumphant return to Butler, Pennsylvania, yesterday, flanked by none other than Wonder Woman and tech billionaire Elon Musk. The unlikely trio marched into town as Trump faced the place where, just last month, a would-be assassin’s bullet narrowly missed him. This time, however, the former president came prepared, with a lasso-wielding Amazonian warrior and the mastermind behind SpaceX by his side.

“I’ve always said, if you want to make a comeback, make it *yuge*,” Trump declared, as Wonder Woman stood ready to deflect bullets with her bracelets, and Musk held Captain America’s shield for additional protection, “Some people bring Secret Service agents; I bring superheroes and the world’s richest man. That’s how you do it, folks.”

Elon Musk, who has now seemingly added “personal security” to his long list of ventures, explained his role in protecting Trump. “I believe in disruptive innovation, and what’s more disruptive than being protected by an Amazonian demigoddess while simultaneously wielding an impenetrable shield?” Musk said, pausing briefly to tweet about the dangers of “traditional security paradigms” and the potential for a future AI-based presidential guard.

Wonder Woman, on the other hand, remained tight-lipped about her involvement, though sources say she’s currently reviewing an offer to lead a new branch of the Space Force—code-named “Operation Invisible Jet.” “When I was asked to protect a man who’s been called the ‘Wonder President’ of our time, how could I say no?” Diana Prince reportedly remarked, spinning her lasso as onlookers cheered.