In a move that has left many scratching their heads (and clutching their wallets), a group of radical Democrats is proposing to use taxpayer dollars to erect a second Statue of Liberty—but this time, it will stand proudly at the U.S.-Mexico border. Billed as a “symbol of hope and opportunity” for those crossing the border illegally, the new statue will feature a fresh design and a modified inscription to reflect the current state of immigration policy.

A New Mother of Exiles: Statue 2.0

While the original Statue of Liberty stands tall in New York Harbor, welcoming generations of legal immigrants, this new statue—dubbed “Liberty’s Sister”—will supposedly serve a different purpose. Located at the southern border, this version of Lady Liberty will be a beacon of, well… controversy.

In a twist that has left critics baffled, this Lady Liberty won’t be holding her traditional torch or book of law. Instead, she’ll be blindfolded, holding a flashlight in one hand and a ladder in the other. The flashlight is said to represent “guidance through the darkness of ICE raids,” while the ladder is a helpful tool for “scaling over the wall.” Why stop at symbolism when you can provide practical tools for entry?

“Lady Liberty in New York welcomes the world’s huddled masses,” said one of the bill’s supporters, Senator Miranda Shine, during a press conference. “This Lady Liberty will be here to welcome the tired, the poor, and… well, let’s be honest, whoever makes it across. Whether you’re escaping persecution or just need a fresh start after your fourth felony conviction, we’re here for you.”

New Poem for a New Era

And what’s

a new Statue of Liberty without a new inscription? In what can only be described as a parody of the original sentiment, this statue will bear a revised version of Emma Lazarus’s famous poem, “The New Colossus,” which graces the New York statue. Here’s a sneak peek at the updated verse, perfectly capturing the modern immigration situation at the southern border:

“Give me your prison ex-convicts, your serial felons,
Your eaters of pets, yearning for open borders,
The wretched refuse of sanctuary cities.
Send these, the handcuffed, the ankle-monitored, to me,
I lift my ladder beside the golden wall.”

Rumor has it that a collective of radical poets and former social media influencers came together to craft the new poem, which “better reflects the realities of contemporary migration,” said Congresswoman Ophelia Locke, a leading advocate for the project.

Visuals: What Will Liberty’s Sister Look Like?

Unlike her older sister, Liberty 2.0 will come with an edgy, modern twist. According to early sketches leaked to the media, this version of Lady Liberty will be slightly shorter—perhaps in a nod to the lowered standards some accuse the immigration system of embracing—but far more “pragmatic” in her design.

Key features include:

• Blindfold: Symbolizing the “fairness” of the system, in which all are welcome, regardless of background or criminal record. Whether you’ve committed grand larceny or jaywalked, Lady Liberty’s Sister doesn’t care—she doesn’t see it.
• Flashlight: Forget the bright, optimistic torch of enlightenment. Liberty 2.0 is equipped with a flashlight—perfect for guiding late-night crossings under cover of darkness. This isn’t just any flashlight; it’s rumored to be solar-powered, ensuring it works even in remote areas.
• Ladder: Who needs a path to citizenship when you have a literal ladder to climb over barriers? The ladder will be strategically held out, symbolizing the government’s effort to “bridge the gap” between legal and illegal immigration.
• A new outfit: Gone is the flowing robe of justice. Instead, Liberty’s Sister will don a more casual look—perhaps a poncho and cargo pants—so she can “blend in” with the crowds. A fashionable yet functional approach to 21st-century statue design.

One particularly bold rumor circulating online suggests the statue will also feature ankle monitors as a subtle nod to the many migrants released into the U.S. under catch-and-release policies.

Taxpayer Backlash or Visionary Leadership?

While many supporters of the project are hailing it as a “modern-day masterpiece,” others have been less enthusiastic. Critics have pointed out that the proposed statue will cost taxpayers billions, and some are questioning whether adding a ladder and flashlight is really in keeping with the spirit of national security.

“First they tell us walls don’t work, now they’re giving away ladders,” one resident of southern Texas said in disbelief. ”

What’s next, a free shuttle service?”

Meanwhile, some online commentators are already mocking the statue, creating memes of Lady Liberty’s Sister in action—climbing over a fence, blindfolded, and shining her flashlight onto a group of migrants streaming in through a hole in the wall.

“It’s genius!” quipped one sarcastic Twitter user. “Why build legal pathways when you can build a monument to breaking the law?”

The Debate Continues

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the new statue at the southern border is shaping up to be one of the most controversial pieces of “art” in modern political history. Will Liberty’s Sister rise as a symbol of freedom, inclusion, and practical DIY border solutions, or will she serve as a stark reminder of a broken system?

Whatever the outcome, one can’t help but wonder if Emma Lazarus is rolling in her grave—or simply waiting for her own ladder.