GAZA CITY—Amid the joyous celebrations following the brutal murder of kidnapped Israeli children, local activist Ahmed al-Muqawama took the stage to passionately denounce Israel for refusing to make peace. Waving a well-worn “From the River to the Sea” banner, al-Muqawama lamented the “Zionist occupation’s” stubborn unwillingness to negotiate while fireworks erupted behind him in honor of the latest “glorious resistance operation” against unarmed civilians.

“It is outrageous that Israel continues to oppress us by existing,” al-Muqawama declared to a roaring crowd, many of whom were still distributing sweets in honor of the fresh bloodshed. “How can we be expected to sit down for peace talks when our brave fighters are still busy eliminating the occupiers—starting with their youngest generation? This just proves that Israel doesn’t want peace!” He went on to emphasize that true negotiations could only begin once the Jewish state agreed to permanently dissolve itself and hand over all land to Hamas, Hezbollah, and whatever other groups could outcompete each other in an internal civil war afterward.

Western media outlets quickly echoed al-Muqawama’s claims, with major networks running headlines like “Israel Escalates Tensions by Mourning Their Dead” and “Palestinian Leaders Call for Dialogue (After One More Attack)”. Prominent social justice influencers took to social media to explain that while they “personally condemn all violence,” it was still Israel’s fault that Hamas militants had to murder children in order to express their generational trauma. Meanwhile, European diplomats reaffirmed their calls for restraint—mainly directed at Israel—urging them not to “overreact” by trying to defend their citizens.

As the rally wound down, attendees were already making plans for the next “peace protest,” scheduled for just after the next massacre. “If only Israel would agree to peace,” al-Muqawama sighed, “we wouldn’t have to keep celebrating so many martyrs. But until then—death to the Zionist pigs!” The crowd erupted in cheers, blissfully unaware that their peace-loving chants might someday be met with resistance.