NEW YORK, NY— In an unprecedented move to combat rising costs and the burden of food waste, fast food restaurants across the nation are revolutionizing their pricing strategies. Say goodbye to the days of grabbing a value meal with a side of endless, often-unfinished fries. Instead, welcome the dawn of the Cost-Per-Fry model, where every fry counts—literally.

McDonald’s, Chick-fil-A, Burger King, and other fast food giants have all unveiled their plans to charge customers a fixed fee per French fry. Yes, you read that right: each delicious, golden stick of deep-fried goodness will now come with its own price tag.

“We’ve all been there,” said a spokesperson for McDonald’s, while holding up a cold, forgotten fry. “You order a large meal, scarf down your burger, and suddenly realize that pile of fries has morphed into a mountain. But now, with our Cost-Per-Fry system, you can order exactly how many fries you’ll actually eat. No more waste, no more guilt!”

The new system is straightforward: fries will be charged on a sliding scale, starting at $0.05 per fry for your first 10 fries. Need more? No problem. Order 20 fries, and the cost per fry drops to $0.045. Order 50 fries, and suddenly you’re paying just $0.04 per fry. Want to go all out? For the true fry connoisseurs, ordering 100 fries drops your per-fry cost to a bargain $0.03 per fry.

Here’s how it works:

• 1-10 fries: $0.05 per fry
• 11-25 fries: $0.045 per fry
• 26-50 fries: $0.04 per fry
• 51-100 fries: $0.03 per fry
• 101+ fries: Whoa, someone really loves fries! At this point, you’re practically getting fries for free at $0.02 per fry.

Fast food chains are calling this a win-win. Not only does it give customers greater control over their fry consumption, but it also cuts down on food waste—a hot topic for environmentally conscious consumers. “We’re saving the planet, one fry at a time,” the spokesperson added, with a straight face.

But wait, there’s more! For the truly fry-obsessed, fast food restaurants are rolling out a new All-You-Can-Eat French Fry Subscription Model. For just $9.99 a month, fry enthusiasts can indulge in unlimited fries at any participating location. Whether you’re a fan of McDonald’s perfectly salted double-dipped fries or prefer Chick-fil-A’s waffle fries, you’ll never have to worry about running out of crispy carbs again. Just flash your subscription card, and the fry fest begins.

Industry analysts say this subscription model could be the next big thing in fast food. “Subscription services have transformed industries from entertainment to fitness. Why not fast food?” said one expert. “Just imagine: you walk into your favorite fast food joint, bypass the menu entirely, and head straight for the fries. All-you-can-eat, anytime, anywhere. It’s the ultimate indulgence.”

Customers are already buzzing about the new options. “I always feel guilty when I can’t finish my fries,” said one customer. “Now I can order just the right amount—and save money, too!” Another customer, who proudly described himself as a “fry fanatic,” was thrilled about the subscription model. “It’s like Netflix for fries! I’m in heaven.”

As the fast food industry continues to innovate, the Cost-Per-Fry and All-You-Can-Eat subscription models are poised to change the way Americans enjoy their favorite side dish. Whether you’re a casual fry muncher or a full-blown fry addict, there’s now a plan tailored just for you.

So next time you hit the drive-thru, don’t be surprised when the cashier asks, “How many fries would you like today?” Just remember: every fry has its price.

Disclaimer: Fries are still made of potatoes. No refunds for unfinished fries. All-You-Can-Eat Subscription does not cover additional dipping sauces. Terms and conditions apply.