In a move that perfectly encapsulates government waste and elitist excess, Dr. Anthony Fauci, the self-proclaimed “man of science,” has decided to protect his lavish lifestyle by building a personal security wall made entirely of cash. This comes after former President Donald Trump terminated Fauci’s taxpayer-funded security detail, forcing the longtime bureaucrat to fend for himself.

Fauci, who has reportedly pocketed millions in salary and royalties during his decades in government, wasted no time flaunting his wealth. Neighbors were shocked to see him unloading pallets of tightly wrapped $100 bills, stacking them like cinder blocks around his mansion. “He’s not even trying to hide it,” said one neighbor. “It’s like he’s rubbing it in our faces that he’s been living high on the hog while the rest of us were locked down.”

The so-called “Fauci Fortress” has sparked outrage among conservatives who’ve long questioned his credibility and motives. “This is the same guy who lectured Americans about sacrifice during COVID while cashing in on book deals and appearances,” said one critic. “Now he’s literally using the fruits of his fear-mongering to keep the peasants out of his bubble.”

While Fauci’s wall of cash may keep out intruders, it’s unlikely to shield him from the growing scrutiny of his legacy. After all, when your walls are made of money, it’s hard to pretend you’re a man of the people.