Politics
Democrats Notify George W. Bush His Hitler Identity Has Been Formally Transferred to Trump
In a surprising but somehow unsurprising development, former President George W. Bush was formally notified by Democratic leadership today that his longstanding designation as “the new Hitler” has officially been transferred to Donald Trump.
The notification, delivered in a letter signed by key Democratic leaders, including President Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, thanked Bush for his years of service as the party’s Hitler figurehead.
“We acknowledge the great efforts you put into being the worst thing to happen to the world since the 1930s,” the letter read. “From the Iraq War to your awkward public speeches, you truly embodied everything we feared and loathed in leadership. But, as with all things, time moves on, and history demands a new villain.”
Bush, who received the letter while painting a picture of his dog, expressed a mixture of relief and confusion. “I always thought it was a little much,” said Bush, “I mean, I know the ‘Mission Accomplished’ thing was a bit premature, but I never thought I deserved a mustache comparison to that degree.”
The Democratic Party made it clear that Trump’s Hitler designation is a lifetime assignment. “Bush’s crimes may have been bad,” said one Democratic strategist, “but Trump has really stepped up to the plate. It’s like comparing a regional villain to a supervillain. Bush was like the Darth Vader of his time, but Trump is more like a whole Death Star.”
Political analysts have already updated textbooks to reflect the change, ensuring future generations understand that while Bush was “definitely terrible,” Trump is “unprecedentedly worse.”
In response, Trump tweeted, “Bush couldn’t even be Hitler properly. Sad!” followed by a series of photoshopped images of him winning World War II.
As Bush retires his swastika-adjacent label, he is reportedly looking forward to living out the rest of his days in quiet infamy, far away from comparisons to genocidal maniacs.
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