In an unprecedented twist of economic strategy, the Biden-Harris administration has announced that the recent lackluster jobs report is expected to “magically improve” once officials in Fulton County, Georgia, finish counting what they’re calling “mail-in jobs.”

“We’re pioneering a new economic metric,” announced a spokesperson from a room that probably had more coffee cups than people. “Why count jobs when they’re created when you can count them when they’re mailed in? It’s like absentee ballots, but for employment.”

Economists, scratching their heads in unison, have yet to understand this novel approach. “It’s revolutionary, or maybe just fictional,” one anonymous economist commented, peering over a stack of traditional, less imaginative jobs reports.

The administration’s new plan involves sending out job applications via mail, where each returned application counts as a “mail-in job,” regardless of whether the applicant ever gets employed or even exists. “If you think about it, every envelope could potentially contain a job. We’re just waiting for Fulton County to validate that potential,” the spokesperson added with a wink.

Critics have called this approach “as useful as a screen door on a submarine,” but supporters argue it’s just the kind of out-of-the-box thinking needed in today’s economy. “Who needs actual employment when you can have theoretical jobs?” a supporter tweeted, possibly from an alternate reality where this made sense.

Meanwhile, Fulton County officials, now inadvertently at the center of an economic strategy, were reportedly surprised to learn of their crucial role. “We thought we were just counting votes, now we’re counting jobs too? What’s next, mail-in GDP?” one official remarked, half-jokingly, half-exasperatedly.

In related news, the administration has also considered counting “wishful thinking” as part of the GDP, suggesting that if Americans just believe hard enough, the economy will follow suit. “If belief could move mountains, why not unemployment rates?” the spokesperson mused, leaving everyone to ponder if economics had just turned into a branch of fantasy literature.

As the nation waits with bated breath for Fulton County’s final tally, one thing is clear: in the world of economic reporting, we’ve entered a realm where the line between satire and policy has not just blurred; it’s been enthusiastically erased.