Senator Whitehouse Unsure if Club is all-white Because “We all wear hoods”

Democrat Senator Sheldon Whitehouse was under fire for his membership in an alleged “all-white” club in Rhode Island. After a lengthy silence on the matter, Senator Whitehouse finally released a statement.

“Look, I’m not trying to hide from this situation,” said Whitehouse. “The truth is that I just don’t have any idea what the races are of any of the folks in this club. It’s all being completely blown out of proportion to impugn my character. As far as I can tell, the club is simply race-neutral and colorblind. We all wear these white hoods and can’t even tell what race people are at the club. This is clearly a right-wing hit job trying to create a controversy out of something that isn’t controversial.”

Media fact-checkers began labeling the “all-white” story as “False” and accused Republicans of attacking a truly color-blind organization simply to make Senator Whitehouse look bad.