Steve Kerr, current coach of the NBA Golden State Warriors, admitted during a press conference today that he stores his wallet in a plastic baggie when going out so that his pants are not ruined from China blood money.
“Yes, it’s kind of annoying, but you do what you have to do,” said Kerr. “I own very expensive pants, and the blood money in my wallet would ruin them beyond repair. I mean if I were to put my wallet on the table right now, you’d see puddles of blood dripping off the press table here. However, I still have no comment on the bizarre situation with the tweet and China. I just don’t know what’s going on over there, and they generally keep us away from the slave labor camps when we travel there. I’m much more comfortable talking about political topics I don’t under here in the US instead. So, uh, yeah, go China. Let’s play some basketball. Does anyone have a paper towel on them by chance? I need to dry off some money for the vending machine.”