Initial autopsy report shows Jeffrey Epstein likely died of boredom watching CNN on smuggled iPhone

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An initial autopsy report leaked to media indicates that Jeffrey Epstein likely died of boredom watching CNN on a phone smuggled into his prison cell. Forensic examination of Epstein’s phone indicated he had been watching Don Lemon, Chris Cuomo and Brian Stelter back-to-back-to-back. An anonymous FBI source disclosed that one of the investigators who was analyzing Epstein’s phone briefly lost consciousness when Brian Stelter’s show began, but the investigator was quickly revived.

FBI officials refused to confirm the leaked report, but Dr. Jackson McPhee, a boredom-related health expert at the Mayo Clinic, confirmed that anyone watching those three CNN shows without pause would be at high risk of a serious boredom-related health incident. Dr. McPhee suggested that while watching that much CNN carries significant risk, he believes it is so rare that anyone would actually get through three CNN shows in a row that a warning would be an unnecessary precaution.


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